Thursday, 22 August 2013

Signs he will never marry you

You have been dating for a year or two (or maybe three), yet you are not sure where the relationship is headed. So each time well-being friends and family tend to ask: ‘when
are you two getting married’, you try to fend it off. You feel like you’ve found the one for you, but the question is…. have you?

 Sometimes, after so many years together, you just assume he has to be the one.
That’s what many women before you also thought. A middle-aged woman recollected: “I remember my ridiculous assumption that my old boyfriend, a man I was in love with, would one day marry me.

He eventually broke up with me, and frankly, I would like to thank him for it.’’
  If the truth must be told: it is not every woman that spends hours pining to get married or on her imaginary wedding day. And definitely too, it is not every guy that goes to the altar kicking and screaming. But there are lots of women in dysfunctional relationships who think the only problem is hasn’t proposed.

These women can waste years with a guy who is never going to marry them.
Maybe, you are one of them.
  Some women need the validation of the proposal more than an actual wedding.
There is something about being chosen, even if it’s not by the right guy, that has women clinging to relationships everyone else can see are going nowhere.

  According to a study by a relationship expert, Jennifer Gauvain, “30 percent of divorced women knew they were marrying the wrong guy on their wedding day.”
As Gauvain puts it, “Getting engaged can be a triumph, and if he is the wrong guy, the high from the attention of the engagement can minimize that effect.”
  For the women in these relationships, these are the signs. The hard part is not just seeing them, but heeding them. If you are in such a relationship, there is no need to fuss over him.Instead, give thanks, get out and live your life without relying on a proposal to make you happy.

 Life is not black and white, but if you have some doubts, these are indicators that he is not in a place to marry you.
 It’s not about his not loving you. It is about his not wanting to marry you. And very likely you will one day thank him for not doing it.

He is evasive about the future

It is generally not a good idea to discuss marriage and babies on the first date. But if you and your guy talk about jobs, careers,rent,trips, family and holidays, you should trust the relationship enough to discuss your future.
  Otherwise, it becomes a viscious cycle of neither of you bringing it up while the woman is silently waiting for something to change. That can just cause more doubt and uneasiness.You will be surprised how this type of discussion isn’t so scary or difficult with the right guy.

He wants to be more successful before marriage

There is intense pressure for men to be the breadwinner. Even though most women are successful professionals, it’s understandable that most men want to know they can provide for their wife and family. While there is a time and place to focus on a career or education, to constantly hear ‘I’m not in a place to marry anyone right now’ is confusing and frustrating.
   It keeps a relationship in perpetual limbo. Also, it repeatedly tells the woman that that this decision isn’t hers. Instead it is when he is ready. ’ Who really knows the hard times couples may face together in the future? Recognise that his resistance may be to marrying you.

He ‘doesn’t know’

A story was told of a woman who had to quit her job, moved to her boyfriend’s city and moved in with him.Then she started looking at rings, hoping that he will one day make things right. She had no doubts that he was the one for her.
  Month’s later, she summoned courage and asked him: ‘Do you want to marry me?’ She was unprepared for his respobse of, ‘ I don’t know.’ If after living together, starting her life and career over, he still ‘didn’t know,’ then deep down he did.  He just cannot bring himself to face the truth.
   If you feel confident you are with the man you want to marry and asking him elicits a half-hearted, non-committal answer, just realize what’s going on.
No one should take marriage lightly, but at some point, you must lay your cards on the table.
   What information does he think he needs to know? When in doubt, direct questions often give you the right answer even if when it is ‘I don’t know.’ It may not be what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. You may need to call it off, may take a year to heal, rest assured that you will find the man who will ‘know.’

He is sarcastic about wedding and marriage

Another woman declares: “Every chance he got, my ex-boyfriend made cynical, snarky remarks about marriage. I filled this under his edgy, non-conformist personality I liked. Now I see it as a glaring neon sign telling it was never going to happen. I was convinced I could melt his cold, cynical heart.
 “Maybe what I should have asked was did he want his heart melted? I made excuses for his behavior but took little responsibility for my own. He didn’t want to get married, not then, and not to me. If I hadn’t been trying to change his mind, I would have realizes his realized his mind was exactly where he wanted it to be. All that needed changing was my ability to see it.”
  If you find yourself in the same state, do not hesitate to make up your mind and leave him the way he wants to be. If ever he did change, it will be without your suffering a heart attack.
 All of his exes are ‘crazy’

Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy – because what’s the common denominator here? It is him. The guy is very much the problem. On the other hand, he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.

He plans ultra-romantic dates

A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he only takes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn’t want another women to spot him on a date.
Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.

He is hot and cold on the phone
   He will text you 10 times in a night, and then goes off for days. He will chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Maybe you are wondering what the hell is going on? The truth is that he has his time well-shared. He’s been busy. He is most likely dating other women.

Things are missing from his Facebook page
  Has he tagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? Then you should smell a rat. A guy who is a wary of making a commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.

His buddies act distant

Even though a player’s close friends and siblings may be friendly enough, they probably won’t ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc.. The ugly truth is: They don’t want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you are not going to be around very long.

He says you are soul mates

Okay, the idea of love at fight sight presents a beautiful picture. But too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a guy comes on super strong right off the bat (the first couple of weeks), telling you things you like that he is starting to fall I love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling of his tongue so smoothly because he’ve spoken them so many times before.
  Ultimately, it is not about a wedding. It is also not about the proposal story or a ring on your finger. It is about two people falling in love and wanting to build a life together.
If you are deeply unhappy with someone but you think his proposal will change things, it won’t. It will distract you from the real issues for a while, but they will still be there. Marriage can be a wonderful things, but only if both parties are equally committed. And you don’t want to talk to someone into wanting to marry you. If he is giving you signs that he doesn’t want to marry you, heed them. You will thank him years from now.

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